It's a Bird! It's a Plane!

This is dedicated to the two guys who (in their infinite wisdom) decided to throw a frisbee around in the hallway.

If this was a drunken shenanigan, at 2 a.m., after a very long night, then maybe I could understand the impetus behind all of this. However, it's Friday evening, way too early for this sort of business. And I can tell they're not very good at this buffoonery because the frisbee is hitting the walls more than it is landing in the hands of one of the clowns. Obviously their throwing technique is on par with that of any given PSA Youth baseball squad's pitching rotation. Maybe they're new at this thing. In which case, a logical group of people (I don't know if you've picked up the fact that these guys are not) would have taken the action outside. At least there they could chase down their errant throws, and not bother me with their incessant, unpleasant laughter.
If you can't throw a frisbee, give up. Quit. Go do something else. Play video games, build a house out of cards, or shower (which one of them needs to do, I assure you). Do your homework! Do Physics! Maybe then you can figure out the mechanics behind the flight of a small plastic object. And if you do that, you've won! Claim your prize! It's at the bottom of that cliff. Here let me show you...out.

We've Been Had

More people go to this school than any other in the entire nation. We're a diverse bunch, and there's lots of us. Obviously, a lot of systems and personnel are needed to run this gig. Yet, even things at NASA go awry every once in a while, and our university has just joined the technically incompetent club.

According to The Daily Texan, there are plenty of security procedures and systems in place preventing an electrical outage. Nevertheless, the other day, the power went out all over campus. This could have been the result of a inadverdant human error, or an even more plausible idea such as a Microsoft system error. Sadly, it was none of those things. We were outdone by a rat. That's right. One measely rodent kicked our ass. The rat actually destroyed a transformer. Now someone has to explain to me how the hell a rodent not just mangled, chewed up, or frazzled some wiring, but actually DESTROYED.....DESTROYED a transformer. Don't these things come in metal cases of some sort? Are we dealing with mutated, ninja rats? In which case, im not afraid to admit, im a bit scared. Furthermore, shouldn't some underpaid worker be sitting and watching a video camera trained at the transformers? Shouldn't he/she notice the fact that a rat is in the process of taking out a transformer (which by no means should be a quick task)?

Apparently I'm supposed to be impressed by the fact that the power came back within an hour. To tell you the truth, I'm not impressed at all. If people have enough time to start a small bonfire in the courtyard, or begin games of frisbee, the problem was not solved quickly Power outages at the length of an hour were something common in Turkey where the people running the electricity companies were probably recent graduates of kindergarten, but they should not occur here. Oh oh and look at this: "Emergency lighting and exit signs in the Union failed to light up in response to the blackout." YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! Might as well take them out if they're not going to work in the first place. A situation caused by a rat is hardly anything to make a fuss about, right? David Punch, associate director of operations for the Union said this: "We inspected the lights in January, and we were to replace the batteries...I simply did not follow up on it." January. 3 months and 25 days ago. I don't even have to go to caps on that one...it's just too ridiculous all by itself. Lucky there wasnt a fire or anything, we might have actually needed those things. I'm pretty sure that guy should be handed his ass sometime in the near future.

Really though, I'm okay. I was a little upset that I wasn't quite finished checking the facebook when the power went out, but life goes on.

Woe Be He Who Tries To Sleep

I can't sleep. I don't know why, but I can't. I went to bed at a healthy 1 am and now it's almost 5 am. This doesn't happen to me...but apparently its starting to. Anyways, since I haven't digressed into this medium in some time, I figured it was about time to do so. However, as you already know, my life is one of extreme excitement. Many ideas have crossed my mind since however long it has been since I last posted. So I have decided that instead of going off on one large rant, I'd do lots of small rants which should be more interesting to read. If none of this makes sense, I urge you to rediscover what time this post was...posted.

Guy In Bathroom - The other day, I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. Really this is the point where this story should end; it is not. As I opened the door, a suspicious sound pierced my ears. The occupant of stall number 1 let out, what I could make at best, a "MYEEEAAAHHHHHH". Needless to say, I was a bit surprised. Being the big man I am, I continued with my business. Yet, while I was doing so, occupant of stall number 1 continued to make odd noises resembling coughs...but...not. I can only take so much, yet, only pee so fast. I finished my business, washed my hands, and just as I was heading out the door....another "MYEAAAHHHHH". Luckily, I never discovered occupant of stall number 1. However, if he is reading this right now, stop doing what you do in the stalls. And if you insist on the continuation of your actions, take it to the other side. Many Thanks, K133.

Air Travel - For some reason I was thinking about air travel. And then I thought about how everyone was packed in like sardines into an airplane. I thought about when air travel was regulated by The Man. Then they said "nah". So price became a factor. Flight attendants stopped dressing up all nice. They invented Coach. Then I realized I'm nowhere near an airplane. Then I stopped writing about it.

Go - is incredibly complicated.

The Time - is now 5:08.

It has come to my attention that many people haven't seen as many episodes of Miami Vice, The A-Team, and Knight Rider as I have. I must say, this came to me as quite a shock. These were some of my favorite shows when I was younger. The Motherland would air The A-Team all the time. Don Johnson was the epitome of cool. I wanted Kit. Apparently, my attitutes and aspirations mirrored American feelings. It just so happened that America is really far away from Turkey and it takes a really long time for those television signals to travel. So I enjoyed those shows as much as your parents did. Ask them. They'll relate.

I installed - firefox.

I will soon start - reading a Pulitzer winning novel. At which point, I will forever put down Pulitzer winning novel.

So this all turned out to be 2 rants and 5 pieces of useless f.y.i.'s. Oh but it was fun wasn't it? I'm going to make a movie. Or create my own game. Or...

Only Available for a Limited Time!

Being the periodical pundit that I am (observe current webpage), I think the time is ripe-in my boredom-to discuss a certain matter of great importance. Many of us read magazines; some of us read them for the articles and others read them for, shall we say, photographical value. We consume the written word at bus stops, subway stations, and the toilet. Our consumption is ethic is just as diverse as the number of glossy paged junk that comes our way. However, the matter I'm going to discuss lies not in the pages, rather, in between them. That's right ladies, gents, and germs, I am referring to the infamous (and infinitely annoying) subscription card.

Now, I understand the need for the card itself. If I read a magazine, and it piques my interest, certainly I may express intent in applying for a subscription. It would be fantastic, though, if someone could explain to me the need for FIVE DAMN CARDS IN THE SAME MAGAZINE! Listen, if I like the stupid magazine enough, I can look for the bloody card myself. If there isn't one in there, I can sure as hell wait. And if I don't want to wait because there was actually some substance in what I had just read (which is unlikely) I'll *GASP* go to the official magazine website where I am sure to find a link, or a clever picture, pertaining to my subscription needs. If not, then the magazine is obviously shoddy and in no way deserving of my readership.

The first thing I tend to do when I pick up a magazine is to shake it out and drop those suckers to the ground. Alas, some genius discovered that this was not too uncommon, and promptly attached the subscription cards (with a perforated edge) to the magazine spine itself. A way around this I haven't yet figured out, but the game is so on publisher man!

If you left only one subscription card in every magazine, and stacked up all the extras, I'm sure you could reach Saturn(or at least the nearest dealer)! Do you realize how many trees those extra, and utterly unnecessary, subscription cards could save? We're talking about the Amazon here (not the lesbian lady people, the forest). Moreover, think about the productivity lost muddling through cards all advertising the same thing: the limited time offer that somehow ends up lasting the entire year.

You know what won't last the whole year? My patience buddy. It's done. I'm no longer buying magazines. Well, unless there's a cool picture on the cover.

Tell your friends.