Seeing as how I have some spare time on my hands (only 6 hours and 13 minutes left until touchdown according to the “air show”), I figured I’d type up something I could publish later. Val-d’Or 24 miles. Val of Gold. Did I mention we’re over Canada? Well we’re over Canada. I would look out the window and try to describe what it looks like from 37,000 feet but I’m sitting in the middle of the aircraft. Plus our window passengers were kindly told to put their sunshades down (lest they receive snide stares from their neighbors). Not like I could see anything anyways. Even with my glasses on, 37,000 feet is a stretch. So here I sit, seat 42C, a little too close to the aft lavatories. I can’t say I mind it really, but there is a semi-large queue forming next to my bubble (no doubt someone can't figure out how to flush the toilet, or theyre just afraid of the big noise). And I like my bubble...clean. It’s -51 degrees Fahrenheit outside. I’m pretty sure if I donned a sweater, a jacket, and probably a scarf (don't want to catch a cold) I could take my flight outside. I think many would agree that it would be much more of an exciting venture then sitting cramped leg-ed in coach. A lot of people are conked out. It’s 11 pm Texas time people cmon! CBS Eye-on-American is a riveting watch! But then again there really aren’t that many options at this point. However, this plane is quite cool. Top of the line 777. It’s got some nifty gizmos. Ignoring, of course, the water leak in the middle bathroom, the terrible in-flight movies (the rest of the entertainment package is pretty solid), and the weak food [the last two really have nothing to do with the airplane but I had to add something (I can’t just complain about the faulty bathroom)]. Where do you go after the parentheses and the brackets? How do I quote something within those parameters. Someone break out their Elements of Style and tell me. I’ve seen two people supporting Arseholenal on this flight. I’m sure I’ve missed at least one somewhere on the other side of the plane. Weak. The dark area on the flight map is moving faster than our plane. I want to hitch a ride on earth. Now that’s one fast mover. I’ve pretty much ran out of things to rant about. Oh but I do have a story. I had to pee really bad when I got on the flight and I didn’t know when we were going to take off (we were an hour late anyways) so I just kept my seat in pain, and in anticipation of the eventual ascending procedure. And then it got worse and worse. And I had to keep holding it, because you know these taxi and take-off things, they’re quite unpredictable. So anyways, we’re air-bound and I’m waiting for El Capitan to turn off the seatbelt sign so I can take two steps to the loo. I’m in the back of the plane for Christ’s sake, I can see le WC, its vacant sign is mocking me. Yet im restrained; my fate being decided by a tiny, red, flourescent sign. Then boom (Tuff actin Tinactin) people start getting up before the seatbelt sign is turned off! And wouldn’t you know it, they went to the bathroom. Before I know it, there are mini-lines for the two functioning bathrooms. I figure I’ll wait until the commotion dies down. However, I’m pretty sure I’m about to get a ruptured kidney or an infected…something…and the lines just kept getting longer. It was ridiculous. But when I got in there (successfully not wetting my pants) it was like Christmas. The good kind. With the presents in the morning.
Addition number one: the old lady in front of me needs to stop plopping into her seat and, consequently, sending her seat back into (once again) my bubble. Woop only 5 hours and 15 minutes left now. And we’re traveling at something like 641 mph. This machine is such a gas guzzler. I bet it costs like a C note to fill it up.
I didn’t make any other additions. I tried to nap instead, but The Pacifier came on and I absolutely had to watch that.
