Article I

Section 1.
All legislative Powers herein granted shall be vested in a Congress of Awesomeness which shall consist of the Supreme Awesome Leader and his or her Best Friend.

Section 2.
The composition of Congress will be chosen every Year by the previous Supreme Awesome Leader.
No person shall be part of Congress who shall not have attained to the age of eighteen and the love and respect of the people of Awesomeness.
There will be no Power of Impeachment vested in either branch of Congress for it is silly.

Section 3.
The Times, Places, and Manner of declaring Supreme Leaders shall be prescribed by the State; but the Congress may at any time by law make or alter such Regulations.
The Congress shall assemble at least once in every Year, and such Meeting shall be on the day of most convenience, for there may be leisure to be had instead of boring political matters.

Section 4.
Each member of Congress may determine the Rules of its Proceedings, punish his or her Followers for disorderly Behaviour, and with the Concurrence of both parties, expel a Member.
Congress shall keep a journal of its Proceedings, and from time to time publish the same, execpting such Parts as may in their judgment require Secrecy. It is the job of government to make sure its subjects are poorly informed.

Section 5.
The Members of Congress shall receive a Compensation for their Services, to be ascertained by Law, and paid out of the Treasury of the United States of Awesomeness. They shall, in all cases, be privileged from Treason, Felony, Breach of the Peace, and Arrest.

Section 6.
All bills for raising Revenue shall originate in Congress, and no one shall judge.
Every Bill which shall have passed Congress shall be presented to the People as Law, and that is how it will be.
Any Objections to a Bill on the floor of Congress risks being ignored by the Supreme Awesome Leader.

Section 7.
The Congress shall have the Power To lay and collect Taxes (which it will do so incredibly liberally), Duties, Imposts, and Excises to pay the Debts and provide for the common Defence and general Welfare;
To regulate Commerce with foreign Nations;
To coin Money with famous peoples' faces, and regulate the Value thereof;
To establish Post Offices and post Roads even though no one really needs the Post Office;
To declare War as long as it is in the best interest of a select few;
To raise and support Armies;
To make all Laws which shall be necessary and proper for carrying to Excution the foregoing Powers, and all other Powers vested by this Constitution.